How Volunteering at ellenor’s Charity Shop Saved Steven’s Life – and Has Kept Him Smiling for 13 Years

When then-56-year-old Steven’s mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia, the Crayford engineer handed his notice at London Underground to become her full-time carer.

Looking after his family is something Steven, “a natural giver”, has always done. When he was in late twenties, he put his life’s plans on pause to look after his mum and much younger sister when his dad was diagnosed with, and later died from, pancreatic cancer.

Thinking of this, Steven compares himself – and only half-jokingly – to George Bailey, the central character in the 1946 classic Christmas film It’s a Wonderful Life. The film follows George, played by James Stewart, as he forgoes his personal dreams – including leaving town and starting a new life – after his father dies: putting his life on hold for those he loves.

Around six months after giving up his decades-long career to take care of his mother, Steven began experiencing panic attacks. He was depressed: bereft of a life-long career, and stripped of a key part of his identity and purpose. It would be another two years before he weaned himself of the antidepressants. And – like his symbolic counterpart, George Bailey – there were days when Steven considered giving up.

But Crayford local didn’t give up. Instead, he took a stroll down to his local ellenor charity shop, and asked the manager there if there were any vacancies.

There weren’t. However, said the manager, Sue – who’s still there today – ellenor’s Bexleyheath shop was looking for volunteers. Steven began volunteering there that week.

He was 56 when he arrived for his first shift. Now, he’s 67 and even though the surroundings have changed a little - Steven is now at ellenor’s Crayford shop - you’ll still see him smiling out from behind an ellenor countertop. Head in to browse the Crayford shop’s shelves, though, and don’t expect just a smile – if Steven’s on shift, you’ll be settling in for a full-blown conversation! 

“I love working in the shop, because I love meeting customers,” Steven says. “Being on the till, I get to chat to everyone, people from all walks of life: young mums with kids, nans; business owners and families all looking for a bargain. I’ve gotten to know my colleagues well, and to call them – and so many of the customers there – my friends.”

Volunteering at ellenor gave Steven – for whom the boat of regular rhythms and routines had been not only rocked, but capsized – a fresh sense of purpose. It proved transformative for his mental health and outlook on the world and the future; playing a life-affirming role in accepting and embracing the changes taking place. While there, he’s met people facing similar circumstances; finding solace and friendship among others facing loss, grief, and bereavement in all their forms.

Steven himself puts it more simply.

“Volunteering for ellenor saved my life,” he says. “I was in a bad place. It’s given me so much confidence, and introduced me to people who are immensely important to me.”

In June 2022, Steven’s mother Betty passed away. He misses her every day, but his role in the Crayford shop continues to help him process the loss, and channel his grief. The Crayford shop plays a pivotal role in supporting ellenor’s mission, as the charity heavily relies on the fund generating by its shops and the generosity of the local community. These funds are fundamental in in meeting the annual fundraising target of £7 million, providing vital care and support to families in Kent and Bexley facing life limiting illnesses.

But there’s another reason Steven – and so many other volunteers from all backgrounds and careers – have discovered new leases of life in ellenor’s shops. And it has to do with the evolving role of the charity shop in the UK at large.

Today charity shops are embracing their newfound roles as places where you’re just as likely to find designer fashion labels among the bric a brac; as vivid, vibrant hubs of modern commerce.

Indeed, charity shops aren’t the mere donation centres they once might have been. They’ve grown into hustling, bustling, community-focused spaces capable of rivalling – perhaps even surpassing – the high-street retail stores they’ve come so strongly to resemble.

The fact that Steven initially didn’t expect to like working in a charity shop shows that some of these outdated misconceptions still exist. The fact that he’s still working there 13 years later (and loving it) shows that these same conceptions – of the charity shop as a place that isn’t for everyone, or is inferior to high-street shops – couldn’t be further from the truth.

“I didn’t think I’d end up working in ellenor’s charity shop for more than a day, because I didn’t think I’d like it. I’ve always been an engineer, and I suspected that retail wasn’t for me. But I like to keep busy, and to occupy my mind.

“13 years later, and the fact I’m still here speaks for itself!”

Asked to sum up the experience of volunteering at a charity shop in just three words, Steven takes his time, then says “Community; pleasure; smiles.”

When asked what his message to the customers of his local Crayford shop might be, though, Steven answers immediately – and with his trademark grin.

“Come in and grab yourself a bargain, and know you’re doing your bit for an amazing cause”, Steven says. Then, chuckling a little, he adds: “and remember, every penny makes a difference – so don’t ask for a discount!”