Night sitter feels privileged to look after loved ones...

When a family invite night sitter Michelle Muckle into their home they are entrusting her with the person they often love and worry about more than anyone else in the world.

Often the patient will be near the end of their life, and family members or carers really need a good night’s sleep to recharge their batteries.

Michelle is on the bank of carers that hospice charity ellenor can call on to help their patients and families in times of need. She will sit with a patient from 10pm until 6pm, often by their bedside, holding their hand.

She said: “Some carers feel they must keep going but they do need to refuel the tank. Getting enough sleep can really help them cope better. It might be the first time in days or weeks that they have had a proper rest.

“Asking someone else to look after your loved one is a big thing and they need to feel comfortable. Often, they are leaving me with the love of their lives. It makes me feel like a million dollars if they can go off and get a good night’s sleep then feel able to ask me to come back again another night. Then I have done my job.”

Michelle, 55, is a carer in the community, specialising in dementia care, for a private company based in Longfield, but also does one or two night shifts for ellenor each week. The charity is dedicated to enriching the lives of people facing life-limiting illnesses. Adult services include an Inpatient Ward, Hospice Care @ Home, Care Home Support Team and Wellbeing Services. For children in Dartford, Gravesham, Swanley, and Bexley, there is clinical nursing support tailored to their needs, often in their own homes. 

Michelle said: “I love all aspects of working in care, but I do find the night shifts at ellenor particularly rewarding. Some of the people I go to are living on their own, or sometimes the family can’t always be there. Every situation is different. What I do gives carers a break. In fact, sometimes this job is more about the carers than the patient.

“Most of the people I sit with are at the end of their lives. I’m not a trained nurse but I have backup. The staff on ellenor’s ward always know where I am and there is always someone I can call on for help or advice.

“I recently went to a lady on her own who wanted to sit and chat all night, which was fine; it’s whatever the patients want or are able to do. One time, the wife of a patient wanted to talk to me about her husband, her family and her life. We were chatting until one in the morning. Every call is very different. Sometimes family members will stay in the room with me and the patient. One lady wanted to lie in the bed with her husband and get a good night’s sleep.”

Since working with ellenor, Michelle has been meeting more younger people who are at the end of their lives.

She said: “I did struggle with that at first, but I love to talk to people and to be there for them. If I have found something hard, I can talk about it afterwards with the staff at ellenor. I feel I am doing a worthwhile job and it’s a privilege to care for and look after people and help their families.

“The night sitting is more peaceful that working out in the community during the daytime, and there’s no travelling about between jobs. It’s quite relaxing, and I don’t have my kids on the phone every five minutes asking me questions! Sometimes I can read or catch up with paperwork.”

Michelle and her husband Barry, who live in West Malling, have two daughters, Carlie and Georgia. Growing up, she dreamed of being a nurse, but a family business in blinds and shutters called. When the business became less successful as her father was getting older, Michelle decided to become a carer. She lost her dad to cancer of the oesophagus and said she wished her family had access to the care she is now able to give families through the night sitting services.

She said: “If we had had ellenor to help us with both my dad and my father-in-law it would have been a very different story.”

Before Michelle became a carer, she lacked confidence and was quietly spoken, but now she feels purposeful and able to give something back.

She said: “I’m not great at office stuff and computers; I’m a practical person. Being a carer has made me more confident and I get things done. I have even started some mentoring for other carers and a counselling course and wellbeing workshop.

“Caring is the job for you if you have kindness and compassion. End of life care doesn’t suit everyone, but I consider it a privilege. You are always dealing with the unknown, but it is very rewarding, and I look forward to going to work every day.

“Working with the team at ellenor is amazing. All the healthcare assistants and nurses are so helpful. I have done a couple of shifts on the ward too and found out so much I didn’t know about ellenor, for instance that they have their own mortuary. Working there, was the first time I had washed the body of a patient who had died, which felt very meaningful, and an honour.

“People are always impressed when I say I work for ellenor as it is such a well-recognised charity. Working for ellenor, I feel like I have really made it!”